Too Much Information, Part 2
(With this audio supplement.)
Months of familiarity, intense, excessively early proximity (B goes to light A’s cigarette, burns herself out of lack of coordination, at which A chuckles uninhibitedly & incites a burst of tension that becomes hostility and argumentation and ends in muffled animosity)
yeast infections, “symptoms” of menarche,
climaxes with conflicting “ovarian shutdown” lines...
eases out with calmer on menstruation & “resolves” back to yeast
A: (Chuckling) Candida infections... hee hee... ahem... are not STDs but they can be transmitted during...
B: (Vexed, increasingly as she talks) Candida heat can deep damp in jeans too tight ooze white rude curd crying hurt in silenced fly, burning blight with urine & when in mid-ride at midnight this guy’s dick’s like fire in it & despicable she’d spit to spite him till lips inflicted savage vaginitis with quick action take like th’clap it is & collapse—a nasty rash on lavished monistat but sobbed sad when it obviously had no effect.
A: (Holding her face and calming down, almost apologetically, but amused, laughing while calming down an angry child—patronizing) Hey... hey... ye needn’t have sex to get a yeast infection.
B: (Not gonna be placated, pushing A’s hands away) Cystitis!
A: Water—Juices—Cranberries—Pre & post intercourse urina—
B: (Defensive, angry) The female urethra is shorter!
A: (Taking offense, getting aggressive, sarcastic) Sad tears for bacteria near your bladder.
[Maintaining anger, increasing in intensity—arguing.]
B: (Incredulous) Burning. Burning!!??! Burning!?!?!
A: (Blaming) You wipe from back to front!
B: (Pleading, fighting, angry) Swollen. The bladder becomes swollen.
B: Oh, the “doctor.”
A: Yeah, that’s right. The doctor.
B: (Feeling betrayed, humiliated, so changes the subject, starts quietly, but swells into bigger argument—“rehashing”) Dysmenorrhea! This meant for dementia that men can cure menarche men aren’t we bleeding from hearts into sheets and panties & see he can’t stand it if he so handling cramps in embarrassment—
A: Heavy flow? Headaches & men hating & blamed to bedr—
A: Men strew hate & stress self-savior’s grace, claim you diseased & say you with mood swings swoon too easily—
B: Abusing the lunar gleams with brute—
A: Breathe and crouch over in anguish & ache alone. Ache alone!
B: Ache alone in the dark & be at fault!
A: Be diseased! Be weakened! Be weak!
B: Be disgusting! Be detested and unholy! Dirty!
A: Birth heathens hurting her the she, who, burdened down by seed, must bleed & burn but not aloud!
[Argument climaxing, screaming at each other at the end of the rope, as though saying “fine!”]
B: OVARIAN SHUTDOWN!
A: OVARIAN SHUTDOWN!
B: OVARIAN SHUTDOWN!
[Both move a little apart, distanced, walking faster, not talking, holding back lachrymal outpour... after several yards, A stops to settle a coughing fit that sounds serious, crouches over a little... B stops a few feet ahead of her... pauses... goes back to her and touches her shoulder, calm, civil, humane, but not gentle, loving or kind.]
B: Uh... tampon dispensers in all public bathrooms...
A: (Coughing) Fuck off.
B: Everywhere. Bath salts. Thermos. Hot chocolate. Sex and the city. Aromatherapy.
B: Back rubs... foot massages... ok... whatever... that’s not even what this is about...
A: (Hostile, as though saying “duh”) Birth control pills.
B: (Sternly, like trying to comfort, ready to get at the real issue from before, but not admitting any culpability) Look... ok... candida... is a fungus often present in the human body. OK? It only causes problems when there’s too much of it.
A: Lowered immunity.
B: Humid weather can do this. Look... the only way to get rid of this is to flush out... like... eliminate the overgrowth... like... remove the candida albicans bacteria.
A: (Bitter, muffled hostility) Some people are more prone to getting yeast infections than others.
Douglas Lee is Johan Jung. He says: Honey, you don't have anything to prove, you know you're the illest.